Staging a comeback after a defeat by circumstances around you

We’ve  all once had that ‘bulb ‘flicked on’ in our brains and that bright ideas become real.  In those moments , our enthusiasm hit the sky and we had the right amount of the  activation energy to start something new and brilliant  such as  startups ,blogging, writing  a  new  book  or  starting our dream project.  We became enthusiastic and gave our very best and soon were congratulated by those around us and have our dopamine levels increase to bring that satisfaction we crave  for our new accomplishments.

What we were never prepared for is that the other circumstances around us will fight for the imbalance our new pursuits had created to get our attention back; it could be our family members or spouse, friends or our paid job, our finances and income, our social commitments. They will hit with such desperate urgency to bring back our devotion which is no longer riveted on them. At first many of us will neglect these undercurrents and disturbances and carry on with our new pursuits, often juggling a lot of things at the same time and very soon, we  start noticing disruptions in our routines , stress on our bodies and diminishing interests in things in general because of unresolved issues that were e created . This will gradually increase our stress levels and we begin to see our interest on the new purists plummet also . These kind of scenarios could even make some believe that the new ventures are  not worth it and eventually return to mediocrity which in the first instance was  their  main goal to exit.

I was  recently inundated  by waves of other commitments and it was not very pleasant moments  and  I went through so many tough times that threatened to make me forgo blogging but deep inside my mind I  knew that if I summon the courage I could get over these and come back to my blogging.  I decided to be bold, re-negotiate my commitments to these circumstances and thankfully I have started blogging again

Now I am stronger having emerged from many circumstances that would have turned me into a pulp years back and looked at things that happened as  learning opportunities for improvements.

In an event of a  setback, we should  endeavor to  always think of the reasons  our dreams are important to us  in the first place and  allow that reason to fuel our motivation and inspiration to fight for  them.

Any time we stage a comeback after a major setback. we should ensure we also start balancing acts for all those challenges we re absorb such as our cherished relationships, our jobs etc  and set fresh boundaries and new commitment levels that will enhance our interactions  with them. We should also bring to a closure those distinctive things we no longer required to do in order   to  create more time for us to focus on what is important to us now.

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Keeping up our productivity without hurting our bodies

In today world that high productivity is not just the decisive factor to becoming  successful but is obligatory for continued growth and development , little attention is paid to the consequences of not observing the proportionate amount of rest after putting in  very long hours on the job to keep the body functioning optimally.

We all certainly not  just believe that hard work pays, but are constantly  encouraged to work long hours to achieve and even surpass our set goals to remain relevant and competitive in our various endeavors. We accept as true that resilience is when we work until there is no more strength left in us.

The brutal reality is that if we achieve all our goals without observing the needed balance to give  rest to our bodies , we are doing our self disservice to be unproductive as time goes on.

Whether you are an athlete, entrepreneur, workplace employee or even a writer , you must set time to observe your rest and have proper amount of sleep to keep the body functioning properly.

According to Spiegel, “Chronic sleep debt is becoming increasingly common and affects millions of people in more-developed countries”.

This day, the full demand of our jobs makes many of us to deprive ourselves of sleep and enough rest in order to get more things done. Tiredness steel more from us because it impairs our attention. Added to the stress of our jobs is the fact that most of us spend a large chunk of our resting time to stay active on the social media.

According to Hans, “Even modest amounts of sleep loss lead to increased sleepiness on the job, during the commute, and at home – jeopardizing productivity, safety, and well-being. Individual differences in these effects are substantial”.

Therefore, rest is  necessary so that the brain and the  muscles can repair, rebuild, and strengthen  our bodies.

For us to be more productive and healthy, we have to ensure that our bodies and minds recover from the everyday obligations imposed by our demanding jobs

When we wake up in the morning after a good night sleep ,we tend to be more attentive, more happy and more willing to solve daunting problems.

For us to achieve  true recovery, we need to need not only to rest when we get home and lie down to sleep but also devise plans to give our brains some time to recuperate after activities that are strenuous during the day time.

We should ensure that we create time everyday for activities that will help us to relax like playing sports, dancing or playing our favorite music ; reading our favorite novels, watching comedies  or even meditation. All we need to do is to find interesting stuffs that we like that will completely take our minds off the stress of work at the duration we set for our selves

Therefore for us to continue to be productive , we  have to remember that we need to know when to stop  and  recharge our systems in order to recover and be able to face the next obligation with maximum concentration and  as a result achieve the right balance between productivity and rest and feel good about ourselves and our work.

Reference:

Spiegel K, Leproult R Van Coulter E

Impact of sleep debt on metabolic and endocrine function, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed

Hans P.A Van , PhD., Human Sleep and Cognition Laboratory

National Center for Biochemical Information

https://labs.wsu.edu/sprc/sleep-and-performance-research-labs/human-sleep-and-cognition-laboratory/

Songs of the Birds

Loneliness and just how to put it to your advantage

What is the most important thing in people’s life that makes them joyful? Some persons may point to tremendous prominence and riches but to most, friends and family are the tangible central source of happiness. Even though our need to bond is inborn, the truth is that many of us will every now and then go home alone. You could have people around you during the course of the day or even be in a lifelong partnership and still experience a profound, persistent loneliness. After food and shelter, our need to belong and feel positively connected to others is arguably the Number One predictor of well-being,

Loneliness can therefore be defined as sadness caused by one having no friends or company to connect to. Loneliness is a complex and usually unpleasant emotional response to separation or lack of companionship. Loneliness typically includes anxious feelings about a lack of connection or communication with other beings, both in the present and extending into the future. As such, loneliness can be felt even when surrounded by other people. The causes of loneliness are varied and include social, mental, emotional or even physical factors.

Loneliness can be found throughout societies among people in marriages, relationships, families normally consequence of breakups or divorces, or loss of any important person in one’s life. Loneliness may represent a dysfunction of communication and can also result from places with low population density where there are few people to interact with.Loneliness is therefore, a subjective experience; if a person thinks they are lonely, then they are lonely. People can be lonely while in solitude, or in the middle of a crowd. What makes a person lonely is the fact that they need more social interaction or a certain type of social interaction that is not currently available. A person can be in the middle of a party and feel lonely due to not talking to enough people. Conversely, one can be alone and not feel lonely; even though there is no one around, that person is not lonely because there is no desire for social interaction. There have also been suggestions that each person has their own sweet spot of social interaction. If a person gets too little or too much social interaction, this could lead to feelings of loneliness or if one gets too much it could lead to over stimulation.

Solitude can have positive effects on individuals. It can help to improve their intellectual state such as improving attentiveness. Furthermore, once the alone time is over, people’s moods tended to increase significantly.Loneliness can also play an important role in the creative process. In some people, temporary or prolonged loneliness can lead to notable inventive and creative expression,

Causes of Loneliness

Social isolation refers to an objective state in which we have limited social connections and interactions. Loneliness, on the other hand, is an entirely subjective state, in which we feel socially and/or emotionally disconnected from those around us. As such, socially isolated people are not necessarily lonely, and lonely people are not necessarily socially isolated.Loneliness tends to create distorted perceptions and pessimistic mind-sets that can lead to depression. Being lonely makes us judge our friendships and relationships more negatively and respond to others more defensively and even with greater hostility—which can push people away and sabotage opportunities for closeness and meaningful interaction. Thus, these behaviors can set us up for being both more socially isolated and more depressed. The good news is that regardless of whether we are genetically predisposed to loneliness, according to observation by Guy Winch, ‘’the power to extract ourselves from its clutches remains in our hands’. Doing so involves correcting our negative perceptions of our relationships, by assuming people care for us more than we believe they do and giving them the benefit of the doubt and taking active steps to reach out and connect with others no matter emotionally risky it feels to do so. Then   monitoring our reactions to limit defensiveness and hostility and make efforts to come across more warmly and openly.

Introversion

Fear and depression and are common among introverts than extroverts this means that introvert are more susceptible to become loners.Introverts are more self-deprecating than others—but also more accurate in their self-assessments they seem to have cheerless practicality.Cheerfulness, an arousing emotion, may be distracting for introverts during tasks. By difference, extroverts tend to feel cheerful or animated while approaching or concluding their tasks. Conversation between an introvert and an extroverts can involve a series of misunderstandings. As the introvert struggles to follow multiple conversational threads and sort out his own thoughts, he remains quiet and appears to be just listening. The extrovert reads that as engagement, a cue to keep talking. The introvert struggles with the continuing flow of input and soon starts to shut out the extrovert, while nodding or smiling, or even trying to stop the exchange.

What Not to Say to an Introvert

Introverts, those quiet creatures that walk among you, are not as mild-mannered as made out to be. They seethe and even will lash out at those who encroach upon or malign their personal comfort zones. Here are a few emotional buttons to avoid with your introverted companions.

• Don’t demand immediate feedback from an introvert as they  need time to formulate them and often won’t talk until a thought is suitably polished.
• Don’t ask introverts why they’re not contributing in meetings. If you’re holding a brainstorming session, let the introvert prepare, or encourage him to follow-up with his contributions afterward.
• Don’t interrupt if an introvert does get to talking. Listen closely as being  overlooked is a really big issue for introverts,” Trying to connect in the virtual sphere, though, is actually counterproductive. Here are three ways virtual connection is ruining your real-life relationships:

Excessive connection to Social media what do you do on social media? You share moments—moments of joy, of friendship, humor and beauty. Paradoxically, by engaging with social media all the time , you lose the moment. In your quest to connect virtually, you disconnect from your reality and the people in it.

You lose the experience of happiness in the process of trying to refine your smile for public consumption.  The need for positive reinforcement through likes and comments will keep you detached.We’re happiest when our mind is in the present moment, not when it’s wandering off somewhere. Truly savoring a positive experience—fully immersing yourself in it—enhances the experience and the happiness you derive from it. As soon as you pull out that Selfie stick, you’ve lost itInstead of deriving pleasure from your experience—say, travel—your device becomes your main source of pleasure. Unwittingly, it makes you less connected and more narcissistic, and with that comes a roller coaster of emotional highs and lows caused by obsessive attention-seeking.

One study found that the mere presence of a cell phone while two people are talking interferes with their feelings of closeness, connection, and communication. We are profoundly social creatures wired to connect with others; when devices interfere with your conversations, you undermine your own ability to connect with others. You miss the sparkle of emotion in your child’s eye, the look of vexation on your partner’s face, or a friend’s attempt to share something meaningful with you. In theory, social media is designed to connect us. In reality, it acts as a barrier.

 

 

References

 

Guy Winch, https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201612/is-there-gene-loneliness

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loneliness